How (and Why) I Quit Coffee

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Coffee. Nectar of the gods. Elixir of life. The oil in my gears. The pep in my step. My most sacred morning ritual. The monkey on my back.

My relationship with coffee has become increasingly complicated. While I love so much about coffee – it’s dark bitterness, enveloping aroma, the coziness of cradling a warm mug of fragrant brew in my hand, the energy it imparts, I could, literally, go on and on.

However, it has been clear for quite some time now that I am addicted to coffee. Completely and utterly addicted. It is my only real vice (besides, perhaps, my ridiculous smart(dumb)phone, but that is another topic altogether). I don’t even really drink that much coffee. In a typical day I will drink 1 ½ - 2 cups. And I drink it neat, without cream or sugar. The “experts” say this is a healthy amount of coffee to consume and probably has several health benefits.

So, what’s the problem you ask? What is wrong with being addicted to something that is good for you? For me, just the fact that I am addicted and really cannot get by without coffee is the problem. When I skip coffee for a day (or even a half-day) I feel unbelievably awful. It’s like having the worst hangover ever while simultaneously having the flu. My head throbs with a migraine-level headache, my body aches, I feel nauseated, I can’t think straight, my mood sucks. All I can do is curl up in a ball and suffer. No amount of over the counter or herbal medicine will touch the pain. It is awful. Unbearable. I have tried to quit coffee cold turkey a couple of times, but the withdrawal is so excruciating I just go right back to coffee. I need my fix.

Again, you might ask why it is such a big deal to me if the amount of coffee I am drinking each day is not problematic (aside from being addictive)? I’ll tell you why: it makes me feel powerless. I feel forever shackled to coffee. I don’t like feeling irrevocably tied to anything. I like my freedom. Getting off coffee promises freedom from the obligation to drink it every day lest I suffer. Getting off coffee means the freedom to choose.

It also makes me feel a bit ashamed. I mean, I was able to kick cigarettes and that was HARD (I started smoking young and quit 21 years ago. Best decision I ever made). Not being able to quit coffee made me feel helpless and like a bit of a failure. Not good.

I am happy to tell you that, after many unsuccessful attempts to either quit cold turkey or gradually wean myself off coffee, I finally did it. I made a plan and kept my eyes firmly affixed to the light at the end of the tunnel. Here is how I did it.

The long kiss goodbye

I had to make a commitment to myself. I promised myself that this was it. No more messing around. No more excuses. No more fear. I set an intention to quit coffee and I stuck to it. This was a necessary step when quitting smoking, too. I had to send a message to my mind that I was serious, committed, all-in.

I also used self-talk to my advantage, which typically involved convincing myself that I don’t even like this thing that I am addicted to and that I can’t wait to be done with it. It works for me. Whenever I have failed at giving up an addiction it is due, at least in part, to the slick salesman/drug pusher voice in my head telling me how much I like smoking (or coffee, or my phone, or whatever), how much I will miss it, how the thing I wish to quit is not a big deal, not that bad for me. I shut that voice down and replace it with the Pollyanna voice that tells me how gross/awful/unpleasant/inconvenient the object of my addiction is, and it helps me shift my mindset in a way that is very effective for me.

Knowing how my body reacts when I try to give up coffee cold turkey, I knew I would have to go through a long, slow weaning process to be successful. I know my weakness at the first sign of withdrawal. I quake before it. I always give in. To avoid that altogether, I started measuring out varied portions of caffeinated and decaffeinated coffee and gradually decreasing the amount of caffeinated coffee over time.

I started out with about a mix at about 75% caffeinated:25% decaf for over a month. Does a month seem like overkill? Well, maybe. But I knew for sure that if I started to feel crappy, I would be right back to 100% caffeinated. Eventually I went to about a 50/50 mix and stayed with this for a good month. When that seemed to be going well, I started to get more specific about measuring out the ratio of each coffee type so I could be certain I was decreasing my caffeine intake.

The last phase of removing caffeine seemed the most critical to me, so I wanted to make sure it was very controlled and consistent. I measured 5 tablespoons of caffeinated coffee and 10 tablespoons of decaf into a mason jar. I used 3 tablespoons of coffee in my 2 cup French press, so I figured 15 total tablespoons of coffee would last 5 days.

When the jar was empty, I reduced the amount of caffeinated coffee by 1 tablespoon and increased the decaf by the same amount, so I would always have 15 total tablespoons and each phase of reduction would last 5 days. Pretty simple. Most importantly, it worked.

I have been caffeine free for close to 3 months now. I feel great. My energy is more consistent throughout the day. I feel less anxiety and irritation. I don’t get caffeine headaches or worry about not being able to get my coffee fix. I feel relief at having finally kicked coffee. And a bit of pride, if I’m honest. If I can do something as hard as giving up caffeine, what else might I accomplish if I commit to it?

Cheers,

Summer